Top 10 Grossest Things I’ve Caught My Kids Doing (Mom, don’t read this)

10.  Picking their nose and eating it. No biggie, mosts kids consider this a delicacy.

9.  Dipping their head in the toilet. At least it hadn’t been used.

8.  Drinking Act liquid fluoride. For this one we called Poison Control.

7.  Sucking on their toes after running on a blacktop driveway. Which is not much different than when I caught them chewing on and/or licking the bottom of their shoes.

6.  Licking the mirror at the play area in the mall like an ice cream cone. Two of them were doing this simultaneously. Other kids joined in…or maybe they copied other kids. Either way, it was great fun!

5.  Brushing their teeth with a toothbrush they found in the trash.

4.  Pooping in the guest bathroom sink. Okay, that one was done by the cat, but it was still one of the grossest things I’ve caught a “member” of our family doing.

3.  Putting their hand in a public toilet, before and after they had used it. Then laying on the public bathroom floor and rubbing all over it like they were making snow angels.

2.  Picking a handful of chives from the garden, dipping them in a poop-infested birdbath like it was French onion dip, and then eating them.

And the #1 Grossest Thing I’ve Caught My Kids Doing…emptying the trash can full of trash into the bathtub, along with a used diaper and a full roll of toilet paper, then filling the trash can with water from the toilet and dumping it in the tub and splashing around in it…naked of course…because it was a “bath”.

I know I’ve heard of other gross stories from parents.  What gross thing have you caught your child doing?

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Top 10 Grossest Things I’ve Caught My Kids Doing (Mom, don’t read this) — 32 Comments

  1. The grossest thing we’ve caught the oldest one doing is painting the walls with her poop. My husband asked her where she got her “paint” and she stuck her hand in her diaper and pulled out a handful of new “art”…

    The grossest thing we’ve caught the middle one doing is eating her snot and boogers, not too bad, except that she was really sick and the mucus was NOT clear…

    The grossest thing we’ve caught the little one doing is…well, she’s only 2 months old, so she’s got time…

  2. SICK-SICK-I’m bringing my 40 FL OZ germ-x Hand Sanitizer when I stay with you after the reunion. love mom

  3. One of our new little five yr olds thinks randomly blowing her nose without a tissue, just forcing snot to fly down her face and wherever else it happens to go is hilarious! I have a feeling that will pale in comparision to what lies ahead though!

    We’ll have to.get together when we get back. You can sit back and enjoy how far you’ve come as we figure it out. :)

  4. Umm… laughing hysterically right now! Picking your nose and eating it, that’s small stuff. The last one?? Wow, seriously, I have no words. My boys are only 2 and 5 though, they have lots of time come up with new gross adventures :)

  5. So, gross stuff my boys have done… hmmm. Well, they are both bogey eaters, although the littlest has a long way to catch up to big bro – he’s a bit of a pro. It’s worse when they have runny noses cos they drag that goo straight down into their mouth like it’s some sort of dip. I’ve caught my eldest using a carrot to dig stuff outta there! One time I caught the eldest (when he was much younger) chewing on a piece of dog turd like it was a Cuban cigar…. the memory makes me shudder. Our littlest has been a potty prowler since as long as I can remember. I have to make sure to get rid of the doo doo ASAP, otherwise he’s in there straight away.. I’m sure there’s more. Boys! I’m about to have a girl – so soon I’ll know just how disgusting the girls can be also!!!! great post:)

  6. Awesome. Things to look forward to. I just have an 11 month old, and I thought the fact that she is always trying to eat dog fur off the floor was bad, but it looks like there’s a lot more grossness in our future!

  7. LOL That is hilarious! I love your number 1 – I just can’t even imagine it. I can’t think offhand of anything with my kids but my mother-in-law always used to regale us with the story of how my hubby’s older brother took off his diaper when he was in his crib and painted the wall with his poop. Ewwww….

    I’m stopping by from the Super Sunday Sync – I already follow you. Just saying hi and letting you know about our Book Giveaway for Charity that we are currently hosting, in case you hadn’t seen it.


  8. haha I can’t wait to have kids, now! I came from ThoughtsFromParis…so glad I’m not alone in my gross habit. When I taught first grade, I was holding one of our daily story times at the carpet, and one girl in front of me picked the biggest, juiciest booger that twinkled on her finger. I watched her admire it, then plunk it into her mouth. I started gagging right there and then, while simultaneously trying to keep the flow of the story. My eyes were watering from holding back my gags, but darn it if I didn’t get through that story!

  9. Oh my! #4 had me rolling! Damn cats! Your kids are pretty gross too. I can’t think of anything worse than the things in your list. All 3 have, at some point, painted with poo or rolled around on a public bathroom floor like it was going out of style. . . But a trash bath? That’s hysterical!
    I just found you today through ThoughtsFromParis, but I think I love you already. If I keep finding awesome posts to read, I’m never going to accomplish anything on my own blog. Which would actually be sad if anyone read it. . .
    I have a feeling I’m going to be distracted for awhile.

  10. OMG I couldn’t top anything on your list. Blah!!1 #2 alone might have caused me to call a Taxi and check in to a hotel to get cleaned and burn the belongings. LOL!

  11. I also like the mom disclaimer, and I can’t think of anything that beats your list either, although I have caught all of mine engaging in #10. My dog eats the cat poop outside. The vet told me to have the cats drink pineapple juice, because that would make their poop taste bad. My husband had a great question: “Doesn’t it taste bad already?”! TALU ;)

  12. OMG I’m so glad you linked this in TALU because I’ve never read it (well duh, I only started blogging in September and you have thousands of old posts). I can’t believe they did that to their bathwater. Ew. And my son loves licking mirrors, too. No matter where they are. Often, they seem to be in elevators. He also has no problem picking up his food from the ground and putting it in his mouth. And feeling his butt for poop. Lovely.

  13. I found you through TALU, but I have nothing to add. Thanks, though, for letting me know I’m not alone because my kids have done #3 (the snow angel part) before. And, of course, #10′s quite popular; the worse is when they offer it to me as a delicacy–no thanks.

  14. Dear lord, how can anyone top that list?? The licking the mirror thing they’ve done a dozen times, but if they work up to your #1, I may just pass out. Thanks for sharing on TALU!

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