I am daily overwhelmed by the whining and complaining in our house – as I’m sure any parent can relate. It just wears you down. Thank goodness, my husband is able to interpret Whinese and Complainish! I must have skipped school the day they taught these – it would have saved me a lot of heartache had I not played hooky. Here are some common examples of Whinese and Complainish, followed by my poor translation and then a more accurate translation:
Whine/complaint #1: I didn’t get enough “mama-time” today. (I hear this at least 6 times/day)
What I hear: You didn’t make enough time for me today. Can’t you consider anyone, but yourself and “that” girl? You did nothing worthwhile for me today. You suck as a mother. Like, really suck. Your name should be Sucky McSuck-Suck.
A More Accurate Translation: You are loved and accepted by Jesus as you are. I know you have a heavy burden right now and I’m sorry. We’re all having to make sacrifices – mine is that I don’t get to have as much alone time with the person I cherish most in this world – my mama. I would love to spend some time with you, when you’re able.
Whine/Complaint #2: Why do we have to have oatmeal again?
What I hear: I am being tortured by your lack of imagination and planning. Even though I liked it yesterday, today I hate it. You never do anything good for us. You only think of yourself. You should get the Sucky Mommy Award for 2012.
A More Accurate Translation: You are loved and accepted by Jesus as you are. I love your cooking. You make the best food in the world. I miss your scrumptious pancakes and waffles that you manage to make both healthy and delicious. You are the best cook. I can’t wait until life is less hectic and we can have that yummy food again…and I’ll help make it.
Whine/Complaint #3: How come she/he gets to do that all the time and I never get to?
What I hear: I hope you never plan to be a referee for anything because you are the most unfair person I have ever met in my entire life. It’s 1 pm, isn’t there a Parenting 101 class you should be taking? You cater to everyone else, but me. I get nothing – just left-overs. I should just lay down and die and let the others trample over my body posthumously, because that’s how much you care about me.
A More Accurate Translation: You are loved and accepted by Jesus as you are. Dearest mama, you have it so hard – trying to be a good mom. Don’t worry, you already are. I am small and young and don’t have the wisdom to see what you see. Forgive me for my lack of insight. I am blinded by my youth. Please teach me. I will be forever grateful.
So here’s my parenting recap:
Just Let It Go, And Love
Keep It low (low expectations)
Learn To Translate Whinese & Complainish