We took Autumn to her first wedding a few weekends ago. My friend Lauren was getting married in Indianapolis. The wedding was outside at a beautiful nursery with creeks and ponds and lots of flowers on display. It was a hot day, like 88 or 188 or something like that.
He got back to his chair as Autumn began wandering back to the Tic-tac couple. She reached her arm between the man and woman, holding her palm up, implying she was ready for a second handful. I pulled her arm back gently and tried to explain that they were all gone, which was a big fat lie because she could see them as clear as day, but I didn't know how to say, "you can't have anymore," in Chinese, I could only say, "all gone." She made three more Tic-tac attempts before the ceremony was over, and one time I caught both Autumn and J-Man, on separate occasions, looming in the wife's purse that was wide open showing off the Tic-tacs. They each leaned in to take some before I grabbed their arms.
|Holy crap it's hot! ... can I get a Tic-Tac?|
The bride was ready to enter, so everyone was asked to stand. Both boys started complaining loudly that they couldn't see anything, even though Lauren was coming in through the side, a perfect view from our seats. As I saw other children, sweetly sitting on their mother's laps or in chairs next to their parents I started to wonder what kind of manners classes they were sending their kids to and how in the heck did I miss out on them. Because clearly, the homeschooling version of Manners 101 is significantly lacking.
|Steve explaining to Autumn why a wedding is |
not the time or place for a proctology exam.
The ceremony was hot and beautiful. Afterwards, we walked through the gardens to the tent for the reception. They had different flavored popcorn as appetizers, which I thought was really creative, and kid-friendly to boot. (Although, you could tell which flavor Sheehan chose because his white shirt was streaked all over with orange fingerprints. We're still working on that whole napkin thing. Who needs a napkin when you've got a shirt? Same goes for a tissue.)
As we waited for the bridal party to arrive after pictures we took the kids out to the creek to look around and cool off. J-Man began moving large rocks around from a display to build a dam. We explained to him that the rocks were part of the landscape display and shouldn't be moved. You'd think that we never get out of our house by the way our kids act. I really shouldn't be surprised by their behavior - I mean, they're just kids - but I always am. My mom still shares the story of when I was a teenager (a teenager!) and we went to a Christmas program at a church, and at the time we didn't do church, so my mom was feeling a little uncomfortable. Well, there was a sweets table after the program with cookies and cakes and other goodies. I got a plate and piled my cookies and cakes and truffle balls up like Mount Vesuvius. My mom was mortified. And if that wasn't bad enough, as we walked toward the steps to leave, with everyone watching, Mt. Vesuvius erupted and my rum balls and truffle balls rolled off the plate and bounced down the steps. My mom couldn't get to the car fast enough. I don't think we ever went back to that church.