This morning, during my quiet time, I was confronted with the ugliness of some sin I’ve been letting fester and how it’s been hurting me and others.
|Photo: Steve Hall|
I felt sad and embarrassed. I wanted to hide in my house and shut off communication with the world until I was fixed and free of the sin.
But before I was able to gather enough water and canned goods to survive an extended period hunkered down in my basement, God reminded me that recognizing my sin is the beginning of change.
That’s when, instead of beating myself up, thinking I should be able to fix myself or not sin without His intervention, I need to ask Him to help me change. I need to recognize that I sinned, ask for forgiveness, and acknowledge that I can’t do it on my own – I can’t change without Him. Peter wasn’t even strong enough to not deny Jesus three times, even with all his confidence and hanging with Jesus in the physical sense.
On the surface, it sounds depressing to think that I can’t make myself more righteous by anything I do. The only thing I can do is cling to Jesus. He’s my only hope. It forces me to realize how small I am, how little power I have. I walk along thinking I’m Napoleon, but then realize I’m only an infant, incapable of doing much other than peeing and pooping, and depending on my Father for everything else. It’s hard. It’s hard to be confronted with your smallness.
But it’s also freeing. I’m free from the working, the trying hard, the comparing, the earning, and the striving. I can relax in my Father’s arms and let him do the work in me. He transforms my heart and my desire for that sin lessens.
What “freedom moments” has God revealed for you recently?
Linking up with A Little R&R.