Challenge: Describe a few of your pet peeves.
A few? That’s all I get? I could write a book. Which really just shows how difficult it is for my family to live with me. I pity them. When they’re not irritating me.
Most of my pet peeves are due to my (self-diagnosed) sensory-processing disorder. Because there’s got to be a reasonable explanation for why I get so irritated by so many seemingly petty things.
For instance, open-mouth chewing. When I hear it, I sometimes want to cry, it’s that painful to listen to. When Steve eats a bagel…well, this little ecard sums it up really well.
And I feel really bad. I do. I don’t want to hate his eating. I don’t want to run into the other room every morning and put in earplugs and hum to myself because I can’t handle the cud-chewing. And it’s not just Steve. Since all our kids were born with cleft lips and palates, they all open-mouth chew. Eating a meal is like living in a barn full of cows all chewing the cud into microphones and the speakers are right. next. to. my. ears. I hate that.
How about flimsy public restroom toilet paper? Anybody bothered by that? It’s so flimsy that when I pull some off the roll, one square comes off. Then I pull it again and get another square. Then again, and get a piece the size of my thumb. What’s even worse is flimsy toilet paper on a rigid, non-spinning, flat toilet paper dispenser. Then I have to unravel the toilet paper manually, over, under, over, under, while hiked up over a nasty toilet seat that’s practically growing hair, as well as sprinkled with someone else’s pee (another pet-peeve), while I continue to unravel the toilet paper square by square, over, under, over, under, all while my legs are beginning to give out as I scream obscenities at the creator of, not only the toilet paper, but that stupid dispenser! I hate that.
Anybody go to Trader Joe’s? The child seat cart flap at Trader Joe’s. I push it down, it pops back up. I push it down, it pops back up. All while holding a 36 pound child above my head trying to get her feet into those leg holes, but they’re blocked by that dumb flap!!! After months of this weekly frustration, my six-year old pointed out how all I had to do was push firmly on the flap and it would snap into place. Well, thank you six-year-old son. Thank you very much. I hated that flap (until my son taught me the way).
Wet counter tops. I accidentally lay important, or even not important, papers on it. Gaaaaaaahhh! I hate that.
This is my current favorite. Target-brand baby wipes. I’m too cheap to buy Pampers or Huggies, so I deal with generic. When I get a substantial way through the container…like, oh, I don’t know, four wipes in…the wipes start coming out in one big long wipe rather than one individual wipe at a time. So I’ve got my daughter’s legs in the air, poop everywhere, and a three foot long sheet of wipes I’m shaking frantically to break apart. Then when I do, the wipe is wet, folded up as thin as a bookmark, and wrapped around my hand. I’m flinging it around to get it open, not able to use my other hand and not wanting to use the floor because then I may as well just use the nasty-never-vacuumed-covered-in-hair-and-other-whoknowswhat-carpet to wipe my daughter’s rear end. Then I end up letting go of her ankle and she flips over and rolls poop all over the changing mat. I hate that.
I could go on and on and on…toast crumbs in my butter/jelly/any kind of spread, silverware clanging together, rubber on rubber rubbing (I can’t stand that noise!), stepping on a wet bathroom floor in my socks, my daughter biting my hard plastic straw to the point of complete flatness, so when I try to suck through it, I get a headache from all the sucking strain… wah, wah, wah. Talk about hard to live with.
What are your pet peeves? Could you relate to any of mine?