Bond. James Bond. Horse. Stud Horse.

This week’s Monday Listicleswas suggested by Anja at Cocalores:

10 Things James Bond (in honor of his 50th anniversary)

Whoa. I don’t know much about James Bond…

Except this: 
  1. Spy. He was a spy, right? Or, am I confusing JB with Mission Impossible?  No, I’m pretty sure they were both spies. I think.

  2. He was a Stud-horse. A playa. A Ladies’ Man. A Don Juan. A Mack Daddy. A Casanova. A Smooth Operator. And the original Most Interesting Man in the World.

    Oh, and a womanizing pig (at least that’s how I remember him).

  3. Sean Connery played Double Oh Seven. He’s from Scotland. That’s where Nessie lives. I wonder if there’s really a monster in Loch Ness. I hope there is. Wouldn’t it be cool to find a Plesiosaurus living there? That’s what they think it is. That, or a giant elephant puppet. My sons want to go there and do research. I told them maybe someday. Which is code for never.

    Sean Connery…wasn’t he Indiana Jones’ dad? That old guy with the cane and spectacles was the same ladies’ man James Bond? There’s a disconnect somewhere.


  4. Spies Like Us. Was that a spoof of James Bond? That was Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd. That one I remember. Kind of. I remember it was funny. And snowy.

  5. Austin Powers. That was definitely a spoof of 007. Seth Green was in that. He played Scott Evil. Am I the only one who, until today, thought Seth Rogen was the same as Seth Green?  I need to get out more.

  6. A View to a Kill. I think I saw this one, but I don’t remember a single thing about it, other than the theme song by the same name. It was performed by Duran Duran. “Bon…Simon Le Bon.” Simon said that at the end of the video. I also remember that this was the first cassette tape my mom purchased for our brand new Ford Escort station wagon with cassette player. I wanted Wham!’s Make It Big, but it was her car and her cassette player, so we got A View to a Kill.






  7. He wore all black.  He came to the big city from a small community in Pennsylvania where he was threatened to be shunned. No wait. I’m thinking of Abe from Breaking Amish. My bad.

  8. Octopussy. What perv came up with that movie title?

  9. The Bond Girls. They were all skanky ho-bags beautiful, exotic women.

  10. Gold Bond Medicated Anti-itch Cream. I wonder if James used this after his trysts with #9.


So, since I was clueless about James Bond I went to the most reliable place for facts on the internet, Wikipedia, and wikipedia’d James Bond. It turns out that Ian Fleming (1908-64) created his fictional character that was the central figure of his novels. He wrote them all at his “Goldeneye” Estate in Jamaica. Then a bunch more novels were written by other authors after he died. If you want to read more, go here.

Anybody else know anything interesting (or not) about James Bond?  Want to share? Leave it in the comments.

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Comments

Bond. James Bond. Horse. Stud Horse. — 33 Comments

  1. This is my favorite post ever. I especially love how you admitted the secret parenting code for “never” is “someday” – “we’ll see” works equally well, and was a phrase often used in my childhood. Also, I have the same extensive knowledge of James Bond, except I can one-up you: he wears suits and drinks martinis “shaken, not stirred.” I think.

  2. it does kind of amaze me that we swoon for this spy on the screen and his witty one liners — but if we actually met a man like this in reality, we’d smack him in the face. unless he actually looked like Daniel Craig in swim trunks (Google it, trust), in which case my new dream in life is to be a Bond girl.

  3. Daniel Craig is my favorite but my husband tells me this is his last movie. So very sad for me and “us” the female movie going public in general.

  4. LOL!!! I’ve wondered the same thing about Number 8 for a while…never really been a James Bond fan, was too young to watch Sean Connery, but I did enjoy Goldeneye with Pierce Brosnan. Not too fond of Daniel Craig though. I didn’t know all that…great post, thanks!

  5. First (before I get started), I need to stop laughing! Great post! Now, here I go.
    Sean Connery starred as James Bond in the first of the series. He seldom chased women as they threw themselves his direction. The best line to ever come out of a Bond movie was in Goldfinger when Bond was strapped to a table, with a laser rising up to his groin. Bond goes, “Do you expect me to talk?” and Goldfinger goes, “No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!” The character was actually based on a real double agent in the 40′s that infiltrated the Nazi’s. Okay, you got me! I’m a Bond freak! When his films came out in the 60′s they were the hottest thing on the screen. Even Dean Martin, spoofed him in an American version of the spy called Matt Helm, and couldn’t compete. Loved Connery, didn’t care for Lazenby, Moore was iffy and too humorous at times, Brosman was decent, Dalton stunk, and Craig is so-so, almost too serious and physically, doesn’t fit the Fleming description at all. Octopussy was actually another attempt to make the movie Thunderball all over again, and wasn’t a fan favorite, even though it did okay at the box office. Please, Shut Me Up!

  6. Wow, you ARE a fan! Now that you mention it, I do remember all the women throwing themselves at 007. But I’m still blaming him and his stinking captivating good looks and uncaring attitude that women seem to adore.

  7. Ok, your extent of James Bond knowledge sounds a lot like my own and just like you really couldn’t care less. I have seen a few of the movies over the years, because of the guys I dated in the past and/or my husband wanted to see them, but ask like you what I remember now and it isn’t much. Thanks for making me feel a bit better about not caring about Bond and that I am not the only one!!

  8. Yeah, that Bond free association was fun – and probably fun for Freud, too! ;-) You should definitely get on board the Bond train as you hardly get that much eye candy (for us – Daniel Craig really is a man), popcorn action movie (blowing up an entire house is not too much to ask for a normal Bond opener) and fun (see the one-liners)! Start with Casino Royale (for a modern version) or Dr No – you’ll have so much fun! =)

  9. Hysterical! I was snorting by number 10. You’re awesome…my hero…I know nothing about Bond other than the Gold Bond and the Octopussy thing. BEST LIST EVER

  10. Hilarious! Only you could write a post about a topic of which you have no knowledge, and make it completely entertaining to boot!
    Funny that you mentioned Seth Rogen. I’ve never seen his name on a blog, and today not only do you mention it, but several people have commented on mine that my dad looks a lot like him.

  11. Definitely not the only one. I’m guessing there are a lot of women that aren’t that interested. Although I keep hearing in the comments that Daniel Craig is quite the hottie. So that might get them to the box office.

  12. Weren’t they awesome? I was thinking, “I am so embarrassed that my generation (including me) used to idolize these guys and their videos and their really bad acting.” At least they were good singers/performers.

  13. Thanks for stopping by, Julia! I was just reading some of your pins on Pinterest and I was open-mouth laughing with no sound because I’m laying in bed next to my sleeping husband.

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