Prince Charles Is Hot…And Nine Other Crushes I’ve Had

Here are 10 crushes I’ve had…


1. Inter-species Crush. Or, Inanimate Object Crush: Kermit the Frog.

What’s not to love about Kermit? Except his attraction to that stupid pig. When I was 10, I had a Kermit watch, a Kermit book bag, Kermit posters, John Denver & the Muppets Christmas record album, Kermit drinking glasses, a Kermit Christmas ornament (he’s riding on a sled with a Santa hat on – it’ll go on my tree again this year), and Kermit pajamas (so, this crush I slept with). I watched all his movies and sang all his songs. And yes, The Muppets that came out in 2011 only refueled my love for the puppet. It isn’t easy being green…nor is it easy having a crush on a puppet.

2. Royal Crush. Or, Everyone-has-an-embarrassing-crush Crush: Prince Charles.

Alright, step off. It was 1981. I was nine years old, caught up in the fanfare of the Royal Wedding. Lady Di’s Knight in Shining Armor was Prince Charles and he was my knight too.


His Royal Hott-ness
photo source
3. Eighth-grade-after-school-dance Crush: A kid whose name I can’t remember, so we’ll call him “Sevie” (the slang word for 7th grader – did everyone use this word or was it just my school?)

Junior-high after-school dances were awesome and depressing at the same time. It was the highest of high hopes and the lowest of let-downs all wrapped up into one pimple-faced afternoon. The hope that the boy you liked would ask you to dance, then the let-down when he didn’t.

I volunteered to work the drink table at one of the after-school dances and hoped that Sevie would come up to my table to get a drink. I watched him out of the corner of my eye the whole time, willing him to come to my table. Finally, he came over, but he got his stinking drink from the girl next to me. I hated her from then on, even if she was my best friend. She should have referred him to me. She knew I liked him. She shoulda had my back!


4. Realistic Lesser-Known Celebrity Crush: Scott Grimes

It made sense to me to set my sites on a lesser-known celebrity who I actually had a chance to get. I would say to my friends: Why do you like Jon Bon Jovi? He’s too popular, not to mention too old for you. You’ll never have a chance. If I ever get to L.A. and can find out where Scott Grimes lives, I have a way better chance of him asking me to go with him, because nobody knows who he is. Plus, he’s the same age as me.



I found this clip in a bunch of old papers my mom gave me just this week. Bonus!
Looks like they were up to something naughty.

In case you’re wondering who my realistic-lesser-known-celebrity crush is, he played Alyssa Milano’s boyfriend, Chad McCann, for a couple seasons on Who’s the Boss? He disappeared until he showed up on Party of Five as Will McCorkle, but by then I had thrown the realistic-lesser-known-celebrity crushes to the wind and was focusing on hotties, Scott Wolf and Matthew Fox.

5. Church-boy Crush: Brian

He was a good wholesome boy, kind of looked like a young Bruce Springsteen with blond hair. Since he was a church boy, I tried to be on my best behavior, but my aunts did a good job of sullying my reputation. They lived with us for a while and I remember, on more than one occasion, Brian rode his little white Vespa up the sidewalk in front of our house and stopped to say hi. My aunts had the speakers propped up in the first floor windows of our house blaring Darling Nikki by Prince. Let me just say that Prince wasn’t always singing about wearing a Raspberry Beret, while sitting in his Little Red Corvette, in the Purple Rain, preparing to Party Like It’s 1999. No, he was singing about some dirty stuff. So, there went all my chances with church-boy.


6. Crank Call Crush: Scott M.

Back in the 80s, before Caller ID, my crush was stupid enough to put his phone number in my yearbook suggesting I “stay sweet” and call him – just like everyone else did. Even if he hadn’t given it to me I had the White Pages (a thick book, alphabetized by last name that listed phone numbers for everyone in a city) that I could use to find it.

 
I memorized his number and periodically called it. I sat and listened in silence, as his mom repeated “hello” over and over before hanging up. I remember sitting back and thinking, I just talked to his mom (kind of). I think Scott answered maybe one time, of the 40 times I called him that summer.

7. Superstitious Crush #1: Dwight (or maybe it was Dwayne)

I had OCD and was pretty superstitious when I was a kid (maybe you read about the string in my back?). I never had a rabbit’s foot, but I had a Garfield air freshener. It was my good luck charm. (I didn’t rub it or anything – that would’ve been weird). It hung on the knob to my bedroom closet door. I believed that if I sniffed Garfield’s orange with black stripes back every time I opened my closet door that one day Dwight/Dwayne would like me. He never liked me.

8. Superstitious Crush #2: James

Eventually, I gave up on fresh smelling cats (that was so junior high) and moved onto other, more mature, irrational notions, like signs and omens. I liked another boy named James. And at the same time I started having a crush on him, I started hearing the song Crush on You, by The Jets – that Mormon band with the 36 siblings. Or maybe the song was Forever Your Girl by Paula Abdul – either way, I heard the song every day. So naturally that was a sign that one day James and I would become an item.

I heard the song when I drove to school, home from school, and when I randomly turned on the radio or even MTV. It was totally an omen. Never mind that the song was #3 on the US Billboard top 100 that year and was played to annoyance on every pop music station. That song meant our love was meant to be. Or more accurately, my love was meant to be like the title of the song because he never reciprocated.


9. So-gross-because-I’m-old-enough-to -be-his-mother Crush: Josh Hutcherson

I got caught up in The Hunger Games books, then had to see the movie. Naturally, I played the part of Katniss Everdeen in my head (Kat-niss…Kat-e or Kat-herine – see?) and when Peeta declared his love for Katniss, he was declaring it for me (playing Katniss). But I think he’s like 4’7” or some kind of short like that. That wouldn’t work. Plus, I’m married. And old.

Here’s a picture of me and Josh Hutcherson.
source

10. Who-my-husband-thinks-I-have-a-crush-on Crush: Matthew McConaughey and Anderson Cooper

Matthew McConaughey is a valid one since I mentioned that he was “attractive” (attractive is a safe word) about 10 years ago. But, that was 10 years ago. Things change, crushes change…okay, maybe not this one, but Anderson Cooper? So I read his autobiography the week it came out, and I think he’s a good reporter, and I always turn to him in any major disaster, but, he’s gay, right? So, like, that doesn’t even count.

So, can you relate to any of these? What celebrity crushes, especially any embarrassing ones, have you had? Leave it in the comments so we can all laugh at you.

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Comments

Prince Charles Is Hot…And Nine Other Crushes I’ve Had — 62 Comments

  1. Haha…how fun! My first crush when I was younger was on Jonathan Taylor Thomas-you know from the Tim Allen show Home Improvement. Then, of course, I had a crush on Leonardo DiCaprio when Titanic came out. He was the one my friends and I would “fight” over. I also was very into the whole boy band thing and always had my favorite. I was a big fan of Backstreet Boy, Nick Carter (my cousin even bought me his biography that his mom wrote which I unfortunately no longer have). My favorite NSYNC member was Lance (who of course is the gay one so I can relate to your Anderson Cooper crush).

  2. I LOVE this list! I have to say that I too had a crush on Scott Grimes . . . how odd is that?? I couldn’t remember the movie that helped me to fall in love with him, though. So . . .off to Wikipedia and now I remember . . . Critters! Thanks for the memory this morning!

    Oh, and thanks so much for linking up to the More Than Mommies Mixer on Friday! Hope you had a great time and found some great blogs as well as had a few new readers discover you! Hope to see you back again next week!

    Janene from More Than Mommies

  3. You’re too funny. Prince Charles…I suppose Justin Timberlake is only a little better than your celebrity crushes (but, now we’re both married, so that really won’t work~besides the fact that he doesn’t know who I am).

  4. LOL! Awesome. Boy bands were the best for crushes because all your friends could like different members and not “fight” over one in particular. Then the fights were usually over who was the hottest member.

  5. A fun and great list! Matthew McConaughey would never make my list because his last name is too difficult to spell (I’m sure I butchered it here) and I once read that he never uses deoderant. That’s a deal breaker right there. Jon Bon Jovi on the other hand, is NOT too old for me (I am ashamed to admit) and I am NOT ashamed to admit that I’ve gone to two of his concerts in recent years and he’s touring again…and guess who will be trying to get tix again?!

  6. This was so funny! I never liked Prince Charles or Scott Grimes…I do get the Josh Hutcherson crush…I think it has a lot to do with the character he plays. My 13 yr old daughter loves him. :) My husband is fully aware of my crush on Daniel Craig. He doesn’t care because it means that I won’t give him a hard time about seeing Bond movies!

  7. The “Sharing is Caring’ widget…and I think EVERYONE knows about my JT crush, even if they haven’t read my blog…but they should read it…and follow it…and yours

  8. Oh you just brought back so many memories. Too many crushes over the years to count, but the one that comes to mind was junior high, Rob Keller. I loved him so, but unfortunately he was more into one of my friends. Funny how you remember these things even at 35 years old. By the way, I loved the old photo of Scott Grimes and probably had that issue of Tiger Beat, lol!!

  9. Hahaha! How fun! I think it would be hard for me to identify all of these! I think I understand all of yours but Prince Charles. Lol! Great post, Kate!

  10. I think my favorite one is the – So gross because I am old enough to be his mom crush. It was a good thing I wasn’t drinking anything because I might have lost my laptop to it. My strange crush. Mike Myers from Saturday Night live… It started when I watched So I Married an Ax Murderer. What can I say… I love a comedian! :)

  11. Hilarious. I am so into Josh Hutcherson. Yummy! But I know..I’m way too old to crush on him. LOL. And Anderson Cooper, well yea! And Matthew McIdon’tknowhowtospellhislastname is cute too..but I’m not so much about him anymore.

  12. Lol…oh my gosh Kate, you make me laugh! Prince Charles????!! Thanks for that…good start to my day hehehe. Have to agree with you on Matthew McConaughey….10 Things I Hate About You….yummy! I had the most outrageous crush on Jeremy Jackson back in the day. He played Hobie on Baywatch. I’d tape his posters all over my wall, write out Melanie Jackson a hundred times, and imagine how he was going to fall in love with me one day. Fun memories, thanks!

  13. Scott Grimes made me laugh more than Prince Charles. As for Anderson Cooper & him being gay, apparently I had a lack of gaydar growing up. My celebrity crushes all ended up being gay in real life: Neil Patrick Harris, Jonathan from New Kids on the Block, the kid from My Two Dads, ….

  14. This was hi-larious! My weird/embarrassing crush is my old guy crush, Michael Douglas. He’s old enough to be my grandpa, which is why it’s a vaguely disturbing crush.

  15. Man am I late here. Crushes… let’s see, there were my pre high school and high school girlfriends, but in the celebrity marketplace, it was first Annette Funicello (of Disney and Beach Party movie fame), Connie Stevens, and then Tanya Roberts (one of the last Charlie Angels). Besides that, my wife would kill me if I mentioned anyone else! lol Great post… but…. Kermit?

  16. I never thought about it before but Anderson is kinda sexy… I had some of those embarrassing crushes, I used to walk home the long way around in 6th grade so i could see the boy I knew never cared for me. Great lisT! And I love polo but Charles looks rubbish even in that outfit!!

  17. Oh Kate – I don’t know if we can be friends. Please tell me your Royal Hotness is past tense ;-) Never heard the term Sevie. Nothing wrong with havin’ a crush on a youngin’ as long as its not ‘ole lady having a crush on MY son when he gets of age to be crushed on. And Anderson, sadly yes – with his fine self! ~TALU

  18. OK, I can kinda see Kermy, but Prince Charles?!?!?! I don’t even think Diana actually crushed on him. What’s wrong with you?!?! LOL

    As for childhood celebrity crushes, while everyone else was fantasizing about Davy Jones from the Monkeys, I had my eye set on Mike Nesmith, the tall, dark, more intellectual of the group … although I would never have turned down Davy Jones had he shown up on my door step! After that it was Shawn Cassidy! I had posters of him EVERYWHERE!! I’m surprised my mother actually allowed that. I had the entire gameroom in the basement plastered with his images. Maybe she just never went down there??

    As for real-life crushes, I was on vacation and met the cutest boy ever – who happened to live in the next town over from me, so me and my best friend would troll the mall just hoping to get a glimpse of him hanging out with his buds. Soooo lame!

    My biggest crush forever and always will be Antionio Banderas! Just don’t get what he’s thinking marrying ditsy Melanie Griffith! Sigh…

  19. This is so hilarious! And maybe Josh Hutcherson doesn’t count because he’s so short? On second thought, that probably just makes it worse…. =P

    Great post, I totally understand the inter-species thing haha. Thanks for inspiring me to make my own list! =)
    http://www.greatgalantamine.com/

  20. Okay….the Josh Hutcherson one is pretty scandalous….I think he’s the same age as I am. I laughed at Kermit the Frog! I stuck purely to fictional character crushes, Prince Caspian and Captain Jack Sparrow being the main ones.

  21. Hilarious but Prince Charles? Really? I live in one of the colonies… Australia… and even I’m not that loyal :) This is really funny. I’d write mine out for you but my husband’s looking over my shoulder. I might come back later!

  22. This is great! My so-gross-because-he’s too young and my royal crush are the same: Prince Harry. I think he’s just a doll baby (if a little bit of a wild child) but I’m pretty sure it’s not going to work out for us, considering the distance, the age difference, and my marriage. Love this topic may have to copy it in the future!

  23. I’m sure I had several embarrassing crushes… let me think. Oh yes…

    Harrison Ford-he was much younger and so was I back then.
    I loved Murdock from the ATeam. Weird and disturbing, no?
    Wesley Crusher from ST:TNG.
    Kip Winger (I know, now it’s all ewwwwwww….)

    Now I just have an unhealthy obsession with Robert Downey Jr. and Ryan Reynolds.

    Thank you for sharing your shame…

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