Pest Elimination And The Embarrassing Bra

Before I share my story, I want to thank Gina over at The Life I Live…So You Don’t Have To for bestowing on me the Blog of the Year 2012. You can see it’s awesomeness in my left column toward the bottom, under “My Awesomeness”. I put the awards down there so I don’t look braggy. It’s an “award” given by bloggers to bloggers. It’s not so much that I’m the best (ha!), but that Gina thought of me when considering who to give the award to (along with 10 other bloggers). For that I am thankful.  Thanks Gina!  And she’s funny and working on a novel, so check her blog out by clicking on her link above.

On to the pest/bra story…
We just had a pest elimination guy here to take a look at our on-going mouse problem. You can read about that nonsense here.

The light outside our front door went out a few months ago. When Steve went to replace the bulbs (odd that all three burned out at the exact same time) and pulled the fixture off the wall he found two electrocuted mice behind it. So when the light in our kitchen suddenly went out last week – all four fluorescent tubes simultaneously – I figured it had to be mice.  We’d been gone for 10 days to visit family and I think that was all the invitation the mice needed to come in and party like Prince as if it were 1999.

Then I woke up the next morning and found a half-eaten tomato on my counter. I know my kids didn’t do this.

The more embarrassing part is that I left this on the
counter for three more days until I found my camera.

Having a service person come into our house is always a crap-shoot because I never know what my kids are going to do. Will they ask embarrassing or awkward questions? Will they get in the way? Will they be disrespectful? Most likely, yes.

As soon as the pest guy walked in the door, Autumn shoved the noise-making animal farts book my Aunt Kim recently sent the kids, in his face. (Thanks Aunt Kim) She hadn’t looked at it in a week, but brought it out just to show our guest. How sweet. Then she said, “Yook, yook! (Look! Look!) Toot-toot!” and proceeded to push the fart buttons, which sounded something like this:

eROWRRH(elephant trumpet, followed by)…BOUM-BOUM-BOUM-pfft-BRAAAAP-BOUM!(elephant fart), then NE-E-E-E-E-E-IGH (horse neigh) and WHOOOOZZ-JOEEEEE-FFRRPTPTPTPTPT! (horse fart)

Over and over she pushed the various buttons to make the animal noise, accompanied by the animal’s loud fart noise.

I managed to pull her away from the guy and send her downstairs with the book as he smiled and ducked under the sink to check the traps.  He found no mice under the sink, but while I waited, and looked out the back door, I saw one of those little buggers run out of a crack in our house, across the patio and under the broken-down hot tub that hasn’t worked in three years (since a month after we moved in). So now I’m more determined than ever to get that piece of crap out of my yard.
Throughout the house and garage he found a few dead mice in the traps previously set. I was disgusted, but also happy – less mice in the world. Then he asked to see our third attic that was listed on our previous inspection forms. The entrance is located in my bedroom closet. My bedroom closet. Just a little personal. As he was up on the stool trying to stick his body in the two foot by two foot entrance, I noticed three of my bras hanging on the back of my bedroom door, which he most likely didn’t see when he came in, but would not miss going out.

I know a bra is no big deal, I see them in Target and Kohl’s all the time. But there’s something about strangers in my bedroomseeing my personal, mildly dirty underclothes, that recently touched my body that makes me a little embarrassed. In college, my friends used to purposely say the word “bra” to see my face turn red. I’ve come a long way since then, but not far enough. Undergarments still embarrass me.

So, as his head was in the attic hole, I snuck over to the door and grabbed the bras, bunched them in a ball, and with my back to him, walked sideways across the room to hide them under the comforter of the unmade bed – further evidence to the pest guy that I’m a complete pig. Not only do we have mice, but we don’t make our beds and we leave mice-eaten tomatoes on our counter until we can find our camera. (I should say “I”. Steve is not part of my pigdom…mostly).

I shoved the bras under just as he ducked his head out to ask about the trap. I looked up as I straightened out the unmade comforter – because that corner needed straightening – and gave some answer, of which I cannot remember now, and willed myself not to turn red.

Thankfully, that was the last trap to check. At that point, he had been here for over an hour. Anytime a service person comes for a morning visit, my biggest concern is that nature will call while they’re here. Well, of course as he was explaining the details of our pest report, nature called.

I looked at the report and listened, but was thinking: Whatever. I don’t care. Just finish so I can go to the bathroom. Nature is NOW blaring it’s horn and I need you to leave! I don’t want to be stopped up into next week, so just SHUT UP and get out! I smiled and nodded and mm-hmm’d and walked toward the front door, hoping he’d follow. As soon as he walked out the door, I threw the report on the table and ran to the bathroom. I made it. Barely.

The next day the electrician came to repair the damage from the mice. And why I didn’t consider that he might need to see the electrical box in our laundry room is beyond me. In order to get to it, he had to wade through our dirty laundry, push past a coffin of crap for Goodwill and s’mores the horse, step over my worm farm, and see four of my drying bras hanging on the knob of the laundry room door in all their glory. 

 But, at least for his visit, nature didn’t call.

What the electrician had to walk around.
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Pest Elimination And The Embarrassing Bra — 25 Comments

  1. Our mouser died this spring so we have been setting traps for the little buggers. I think we have a mouse spy or something because they don’t bother to come anywhere near to the traps. The joys of living in a 112 year old house out in the country!

  2. I hate mieses to pieces. I did not foresee such problems when we moved to the farm. I’m a moron that way. I can’t believe you have them killing themselves by eating the wires, though. Knock on wood, we haven’t had that problem.
    Your post is so stinkin’ funny, as I have been embarrassed by the filth I call home too many times. I especially pity the people who have to wade through the dungeon.

  3. Never had mice, but then again kind of surprised seeing as though I hate and despise cleaning. As for nature calling, I am with you that it is always in the morning and could relate to how you were totally feeling in that moment!!

  4. I hate mice and I hate service people (not the actual people but when they come to the house). We had mice move some pasta I had in the garage and hide it in the Christmas tree stored in the attic. That was interesting-pulling pasta out of the branches-yuck!

  5. OMG! That’s crazy. In our old house I left a little M&M guy with M&M’s in it in one of our Xerox boxes of Xmas decorations and put it in the attic. Well they chewed a hole right through that little M&M guy. No mercy.

  6. ha ha ha ha ha!!! I love your writing ! This reminds me of the last time we were house shopping. The one house we looked at there was a pair of dirty underwear (men’s white briefs!) hanging over the shower curtain rod!

  7. Oh my gosh – too funny! I hate mice. We’ve had our share of issues with them here…until CATS! My little darlings are awesome hunters. I also hate having repair men in my house. We had an exterminator come in when we first moved in to get rid of ants and the guy freaked me (and my kids) out so much that I had to fire him. Glad you are getting through this with humor.:) And your laundry room isn’t that bad!

  8. I am sorry that I am laughing at this… But I can totally relate. It almost seems to be that way when you have some sort of technician come out. Last year there was a leak in my sons bedroom. So naturally we had to call the landlord. Well, I didn’t want him to think that we lived like pigs so we went on a cleaning strike throughout the entire house… before I would let my husband even make the call to get it fixed! :)

  9. Hehe…um…I feel your pain…I would be embarrassed, too. But, then I make my self think…oh he has to see this all the time, lol.

  10. i had that same issue this weekend! I had a repair man over, and he was going into the laundry room so I had to run downstairs, grab my bra and hid it behind my back as he was coming down the stairs!

    thanks for stopping by my blog, glad I could help you feel nostalgic :) Any places that you remember enjoying eating at??

  11. Kate – Guys really don’t care about seeing a bra or two. In fact, we really don’t notice things like beds not being made up and such. See, it’s in our genes. If you don’t believe it, visit any teenage boy’s room and you’ll see that it’s not just a common thing, it’s a genetic one! Our biggest fear is stepping on something and getting chewed out over it. Otherwise, it’s simply not in our psyche to notice things. (Of course, there are the perverts who will steal women’s underwear, but that’s another post, lol)

  12. I read this a few days ago on my phone and couldn’t comment, but you should know that I have been thinking about the awesome farting book ever since. :)

  13. Well thank you. I think the worst part is the dirt on the floor that I haven’t cleaned up in three months from my worm farm. Actually, I cleaned it up tonight – my dad is visiting this weekend. ;-)

  14. LOL! How timely.
    I’ll have to think about some restaurants – it’s been so long, but we still visit every year and eat when we do. :-) I’m following you via email, so I’ll let you know when I come up with some places. May ask my family too.

  15. LOL! I think it’s just so personal that it makes me uncomfortable. I don’t like getting massages either. I don’t want anyone touching me that I don’t know….sometimes even people I do know I don’t want touching me. :-)

  16. This was a HilArious post. I just had a pest guy come yesterday to look at the mouse traps and he came in the basement and I ALSO had stuff out that was Not Good to see, someone you don’t even know. Also love the Coffin of Toys. LOL. They make plastic boxes that shape so you can shove them in the attic.

  17. OMG this is so funny! The fact that you left the tomato on the counter for three days until you found your camera makes me <3 you even more! So funny! I can just picture you hiding your bras from that guy! HAHAHA! :D
    Also, as far as I know, only freaks and weirdos and boring people have time to make their beds.

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