Do you ever play the game Would You Rather...? Not the board game, just the good ol' creative noggin kind. Our family played a few nights ago while roasting marshmallows outside. Here's what we came up with. Play along!
...get your finger slammed in a door or have a staple shot in your thumb with a staple gun?
Ouch and gross. This game is so ridiculous. I hate both options. But since I'm required to answer based on the Hall Family Rules of Would You Rather...? I'll go with the finger slam. Both of these happened to Steve and he said based on his experience he would choose the finger slam too.
...get a 1.5" long buckthorn jammed in and cut off in your calf or have your bathing suit ripped off by a giant wave on a Hawaiian beach?
The first happened to Steve a month ago and the second to me about 12 years ago. I'd go with exposing my nakedness to beachcombers. Most likely, nobody will know me. Then I would just lay down in the sand on my face and adjust my suit (like I did the last time) and then another giant wave would pummel me and drag me along the shore and repeat the pummel and drag about 12 times until the bathing suit is back on. I go home only with a stomach full of sand instead of a leg full of buckthorn, fearing infection and amputation.
...submerge your hands in a bucket of urine or a bucket of poop?
This one is just too easy. Hello? I'd totally take a dip in poop because urine is just plain disgusting.
...get lost or be paid one million dollars?
Um...this one was my six-year old's. He doesn't completely understand the game yet.
...have to lead a prayer in a new bible study where every person except you is a pastor or model underwear?
There's no way I'm modeling underwear, for my sake and everyone else's. So the pastors will have to listen to me muddle through my “justs” and “uh's”...God, I just want to thank you, and uh...uh...just for gathering us here today, and uh...
...have head lice or Scabies?
Another easy one. I've had both. Hands-down, Scabies. Scabies took one application to get rid of. Head lice took like 52 applications, ripping through my hair with an Ace comb, and then finally getting all my hair chopped off in a “pixie-cut” and being teased about looking like a stupid boy. I'll take Scabies and it's stigma any day.
|Who's that boy? Oh, that's me post-head lice.|
Gotta go with the skunk. The baking soda/peroxide scrub might actually feel nice.
...eat a bucket of wasabi or be attacked by a Cheetah?
Depends on how big the Cheetah is. If it's a kitten, Attack! But, if it's a giant face-mauling, fish-hook clawing Cheetah, gimme a spoon and some Pepto-Bismol.
...bungie jump off a bridge or parachute out of plane?
I can't even think about things like this. I know neither is not an option, so I'll go with parachute. Because when you see videos of parachuters they look like they're not falling, like they're just hanging in the air. I'm convincing myself this is true in order to give an answer.
...have an earwig in your ear or a worm up your butt?
Okay, who's the wacko that came up with this one? That would be my husband, Steve. I'd have to go with the worm. All I can think about is an earwig chowing down on my brain like a 600-pound man at Old Country Buffet. But gosh, the worm is gross too. This game sucks.
What are your answers? Are there any you disagree with? Let me know in the comments. Got any of your own? I'd love to hear them!