A Chinese Fiesta In My Closet

This week’s Monday Listicles‘ topic is 10 Things in your closet.

This was fun.

1. The Shaft. First off, this is my closet. Half of it is a wall. You can’t put anything on this side except maybe a rack to hang some belts. I don’t wear belts. I got the shaft.

2. The Attic. This is the attic in my closet. It’s about 20″ x 15″. Who in the heck can get into that thing? It’s not like you can actually fit any kind of box in that hole, especially with that shelf in the way.  Just one more place for mice to live. This is where the pest elimination guy was poking his head when I was hiding my bras.

 

3. The Ab Roller.  I keep this around in case I get the urge to work my abs.  I haven’t picked it up in two years - other than to stop the kids from playing with it because they might break it and mama might need it.

 

Here’s me testing it out the other day. You’re supposed to start in a kneeling position and slowly roll the wheel forward then back in. My stomach muscles are so weak that I couldn’t ease my way out, I flew. And I definitely couldn’t get back up again. I tried it four times. I kept flying forward. My stomach muscles hurt today.

This is me laughing at how weak I am. Tears were coming down my face. I couldn’t stop laughing. I was still in my pajamas. It was 4pm.

 

4. Dress Clothes.  I wore this blouse five years ago to a wedding. That was the last time.

dust on dress clothes
5. Our Chinese Outfits. We got all of these in China, except mine which I found at Goodwill. Score! I pulled my jacket out to have Steve take a photo and the kids saw me and wanted to put their outfits on too.  So we took the picture and since Steve was making noodles for dinner I suggested we eat with chopsticks. Josiah shouted out, “Yeah! Let’s have a Chinese Fiesta!” and for the next 15 minutes he pulled out the Chinese New Year decorations (which isn’t until February 10th), while singing, “We’re having a Chinese Fiesta! We’re having a Chinese Fiesta!”
Not sure, but quite possibly the world’s 1st Chinese Fiesta.
6. The Coat Steve Won’t Let Me Get Rid Of. I haven’t worn this coat since we got married 10+ years ago. It’s got giant shoulder pads and 1980s-Debbie-Gibson-Gold buttons. But the time I tried to take it to Goodwill, Steve suggested I keep it because I might wear it. I pulled it out tonight and he said, “Eww. Those buttons are ugly.”

 

7. My fanny pack. I can’t go on vacation without this thing. I have three of them in case I wear the others out. But I never wear it on my fanny, I wear it in the front. That way nobody can steal my stuff. Plus I don’t wear the pack on my back cuz I got enough junk in the trunk. Oooh yeah.

8. My Edison Eagles High School letter jacket.  What do you do with an old letter jacket? Well, you put your pins on the letter, particularly the star that shows you were co-captain (never mind that there were four co-captains…with only six on the team) and show it off on your blog.
My Olive Oyl ponytail is pretty hot.
As is the expression on my face.

9. I Heart Turkey Shirt. I don’t actually heart turkey that much. But I really heart a clearance sale. Can’t pass up a shirt for $1.99 even if I can only wear it at Thanksgiving…and then forget to pull it out every year until the day after Thanksgiving.  I should put the word “left-overs” under “Turkey.”

 

10. My Daughter’s Adoption Day Coat. This is the coat my daughter was wearing when they brought her to us on adoption day. The Chinglish says something like Friendze…blah, blah…killing…nightmare…death…LOVE with a picture of Minnie Mouse. Weird translations are not uncommon in China, or anywhere else, I imagine.

What kind of crazy things do you have in your closet?
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Comments

A Chinese Fiesta In My Closet — 45 Comments

  1. This is so funny I don’t even know where to start. I was eyeing that ab roller, thinking, “Hmm, I should try that.” Good thing you explained what actually happens when you use it. My husband interferes with my attempts to clean out my closet too. He has even fished clothes out of the garbage! And I don’t throw them out unless they’re in such decrepit conditions that I can’t even give them to a thrift store.

  2. Is *that* what you’re supposed to do with that ab-roller? My parents had one when I was a kid and I had no idea. BTW, I was totally laughing with you in that picture. Priceless. Also, that dust layer on your dress clothes is hysterical!
    Lastly, I think you are lying about your age, because you look younger than me. I adored this list and all the pictures!

  3. Thanks for the tour, and the belly laugh. Where to start? How to pick a favourite, although that adoption jacket slogan is just kind of frightening. Love the jacket with the Debbie Gibson buttons LOL

  4. I’ve got the dust on the clothes too! I have “work” outfits in there that haven’t seen the light of day in 15 years! I swear I donate my old clothes, but I’m holding on to a few “just in case” I go back to work at a real job and the styles of the 90s come back in full force. I know, kind of pathetic. :)

  5. OMG that was hilarious esp the ab roller and you being in your jammies at 4pm! and I’m assuming the last girl standing was the captain or just a girl no one liked!? haha just kidding, that was mean

  6. I don’t think closet space was important when they built my place. Hubby and I share a tiny closet and I am always trying to slide the divider to sneak a little more space. The door stays shut for safety purposes. :)

  7. Your kids are darling. My dad had an ab roller and he would always be after us (his adult kids) not to touch it. Apparently you HAVE to roll out, you can’t roll in first or you’ll destroy it. Dad was very particular about that thing.

  8. The ab roller cracked me up. We have one that the kids use.. mainly the youngest who needs it least of all because he could eat a horse, never gain an ounce and has a 6 pack for abs. Makes. me. sick. Ok the adoption jacket, wow, just wow. Lost in translation doesn’t even begin to cover that does it??

  9. Omg, Kate. Seriously, I have no idea what is even in my closet anymore, because I share a closet with Kevin who has more clothes than any on man should have. It is also in my kids room, because we don’t have a closet in our bedroom and on top of that I don’t wear most of what in there anymore. I am mom and opt for comfort, lol!! :)

  10. This was so funny! I love your facial expressions, especially with the ab roller! I wish I had one of those. I have a ton of exercise stuff like skipping ropes and things I never use anymore in my cupboard. I also have my Matric dance dress, some of my old modern dancing stuff, and a ton of other stuff. Fun post ;)

  11. I bet you guys really did have the first ever Chinese fiesta! And the words on the back of your daughter’s jacket had me rolling on the floor with laughter. I love strange English!

  12. Bless you for thinking I’m lying. I’ve always been told I look younger. Often people will think my sister is older than me and she’s 7 years younger – even when she was 14! My wrinkles are catching up with me though. Ha ha!

  13. LOL!!! I had a pair of Sebago docksiders until about five years ago that I had had since high school. I used them as slippers in my 20s. My husband finally talked me into getting rid of them and wouldn’t you know it – I’ve seen them on teenagers in the last year.

  14. Hahaha! The letter jacket…How I wish we lived close to each other. We could wear them for real and start a whole new fad. What the heck else are we supposed to do with them???
    Love that you fly by the seat of your kids’ pants and went with the Chinese fiesta. Such a fun mom you are.
    Nerdy, with three fanny packs and all, but fun. :)

  15. YAY….I was waiting for shoulder pads! I have hanger dust in my closet too. My husband rigged up an ab roller once with 2 old training wheels and wooden chopsticks. He refuses to pay for anything he can “make”. Oi-vay. Great list!

  16. I, too, have my letterman’s jacket hanging in my closet. I pulled it out a few weeks ago remembering how cool I used to feel wearing it. I kinda want to start wearing it again. Not to feel cool, but because that thing is seriously warm! I don’t think I own a warmer jacket than that one, and it’s been cold lately!

  17. Well, I am definitely a mom, because I have some of those dress clothes with dust layers on them, too! The ab roller pics are hilarious!

  18. LOL!! Funny pictures and it’s hilarious that you stomach muscles still hurt after failed attempts on the ab roller. I am home visiting my parents. My dad, son and I went to the lake the skip rocks yesterday and my arm hurts. Isn’t that a shame! I have long retired my fanny pack. I frown every time I look at my 1997 wedding pictures and see that thing in every photo. My closet also has attic access. Part of the ac unit is up there which gets serviced twice a year and I have to move my stuff out of that section of the closet and hide hanging lingerie that also has dust on it.

  19. Hilarious pictures!!! My husband still has his letter man coat, I guess I could be cool and wear it to a home coming game right? I mean we went to rivaling schools so it would be OK…. Ha ha! Love the Chinese fiesta!

  20. I love the Closet theme going on. And I would have to cry foul on that closet. That is totally unfair you have a wall blocking your space.lol

  21. I have a motocross helmet. There’s no motorcycle to go with it. It’s not mine, it’s all part of what I wish my husband would just let go of. Honey you are 37 years old, you are not going to become a professional motocross rider. Get over it.

  22. I’m guessing you weren’t wearing the fanny pack with your wedding dress – but that was what I was picture and that made me laugh. My arm muscles hurt after I play darts. My husband makes fun of me every time. LOL at having to move your dusty lingerie. Too funny!

  23. The layer of dust….also a sign that you’ve gained too much weight and have no use for the majority of your clothes. Well…not YOU specifically, I was talking more in the general sense of YOU being ME.

  24. Oh man…I remember my parents making me use the ab roller every day. I had sympathy ab cramps for you. I was booted out of the closet by the hubby because all of his stinky work clothes are in there. S’ok tho, cuz I rule the dresser! :) Great pictures. Made my day. lol

  25. Haha, well I needed a laugh today. Gosh, I can’t even use my closets they are not even done. BUT, I do have a lot of these items that sit with dust or not used for multiple years. Kids want to play with them and I don’t want them to break it so no one uses it. Loving the whole family getting together and dressing up. I love Goodwill and any other thrift store for that matter. : ) http://onecreativeprocrastinatinggal.blogspot.com/

  26. I absolutely love your pics… you could do a seperate blog with just photos and it would be a hit! (Okay okay I will shut up about making more work for you! Geez woman!) My closet is fairly tame… Games, clothes (some of which I have not worn in years), and a couple bins of stuff there is no room for in the room itself. Nothing as exciting as Super shoulder pads!

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