I Sold Beer Out Of My Locker

When I was younger I tried…to sell beer out of my locker.

My parents are being shocked right about…NOW!

I would never consider myself an entrepreneur, but in high school I started a little business selling candy. It started when our high school was doing a fundraiser. We were selling candy bars to raise money, probably for some field trip or giant eagle or something like that.

I threw some Jolly Ranchers I bought at High’s Dairy Store into my candy bar box. I charged 25 cents for the 10 cents Jolly Ranchers. I sold out. So I bought* more and sold more. I branched out to lollipops and other cheap candy that could pull in a good profit.

I walked in the door of each of my classes and kids swarmed around my desk to dig through my goods. I carried my candy box everywhere: onto the school bus in the morning, to every class, and on to the school bus in the afternoon. I was known as the Candy (wo)Man.

Sometimes, my friends and I walked to another friend’s house after school. One day she had a big cooler full of beer on her back porch. I didn’t like the taste of beer, so my mind wasn’t clouded by thoughts of an afternoon buzz, but rather by $$$$$. I asked her if we could take them. Shockingly, she said she didn’t care.

So my friend and I loaded up our pants pockets (the 80s styles were great for smuggling because everything was huge, including my pants pockets), coat pockets and the fronts of our coats.

The next day, I packed up the Colt 45 (or whatever choice beer it was) in a brown paper bag, placed it on top of my candy box and stood at the bus stop. I got on, ignored the bus driver, as usual, and went to my seat. At school, I shoved the bag in my locker and considered my potential customers.

A side note: I was a fairly good student with no record. Once, I went to the assistant principal’s office in ninth grade for calling a substitute teacher a ditz almost under my breath (it took me a while to learn the word respect…like until I had kids). That was it. So I was rather unsuspecting.
By lunch time I had a buyer (we’ve reconnected on Facebook). I took him to my locker, showed him the goods, took his money, and gave him the contraband.
Your own personal 10th grade brew crew.

Your own personal 10th grade brew crew.

I think God was watching out for me because had I been able to get my hands on more beer, or even stronger stuff, who knows how far I would have taken it; I loved money that much. Thankfully, my dealing days ended there.

My candy sales ended not too much later, after about a month or two. I kept letting all the cool and popular kids write me I.O.U.s, because I thought if I said no they’d think I wasn’t cool – which, I’m sure, they didn’t anyway. They rarely paid me back and I, just like poor Atari, but much earlier in my career, filed for Chapter 11.

*another confession: Some of the candy, I stole. Oh gosh, I’m sad to admit it. Years later I considered going back and confessing to the High’s Dairy Store owner my crime and paying him back. But they tore the store down and a highway runs right through where it used to be. Thank goodness!

Now I’m off to wait for my parents’ calls/emails.

So, what kinds of things did you try when you were younger? You don’t have to confess anything. It could be juggling. Actually, I tried that too. I learned how to juggle from my English/Yearbook teacher, who used to be a clown, while I was selling my candy in his class.

This post is part of Finish The Sentence Friday.

Next week’s sentence to finish: When it comes to reality TV shows, I…

Finish the Sentence Friday

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I Sold Beer Out Of My Locker — 50 Comments

  1. Well, weren’t you the little hooligan! LOL I actually never misbehaved until I was a senior cuz I was afraid my dad would beat me in front of all my friends and whoever else happened to be around at the time. OH! And congrats on all the well deserved awards!!!! :)

  2. Wow, Kate I never would have suspected, but then again I think we all have our stories, but have to admit I never quite tried something like this. Great story and thanks for hosting with me as always :) :)

  3. Just a regular juvenile delinquent you were! lol Imagine what you could do these days with prescription drugs! : ) We’d be singing about “Kate, the pusher lady… her box of candy that will take you place beyond sugar!” lol I knew I liked you for a reason. Just a little outside the norm! Seriously, great post!

  4. I was stopped cold for a few seconds when I saw your picture. How, how how did everyone forget about the layered buttoned shirts during the 80s week Listicle????
    Can’t say I ever heard of anyone selling cans of beer at school. What a brave delinquent you are!

  5. That was a funny post, Katie! Wonderful story and you’re awesome to host the FTSF. I have a post waiting to be written for today, but after taking about 6 hours for the dang blog post that went up today, we’ll see if I get there, haha. Thanks!!

  6. Thanks for the laugh Kate — hilarious and what a little entrepreneur you were! I hope your parents are at least smiling, since you turned out okay in the long run.:) As for the shoplifting incident, I think all kids experiment with that…don’t they? At least I did…hey, let’s rename this Confessional Friday!

  7. Sooooooooo lucky you didn’t get busted with the beer! Now don’t you feel guilty – you stole that candy and those poor people had to close up shop because they couldn’t absorb the losses! ;) Had to join up and throw in my childhood attempt at being Mary Poppins. Thanks for the fun.

  8. SERIOUSLY?!? You are the LAST person I would have thought would sell beer at school! You always make me laugh. Glad you reconnected with your FB friend, now maybe you can find something to see him over the internet.

  9. Ooo, how terribly shocking and scandalous! I used to sell – get this – horoscopes. 25 cents a pop. It turned out to have a low ROI, so I stopped.

  10. AHHH, I can’t believe that! I am so shocked! What a great story; the beer thing is over the top! And the candy stealing! I bet your conscience is feeling beautiful and clear now, huh? What a fantastic picture of you! i would have totally let the cool kids use IOUs, also. I lived in fear of being an outcast, and was never even on the periphery of cool.

  11. My whole image of you is shattered. Ok, not really. My brother got suspended for selling beer at school, so it’s lucky you didn’t get caught! Oh, and I sold candy, too, in 7th and 8th grade. I made my own suckers and thought I’d make a profit. Sadly, because I was a total dork, I gave most of it away for free to boys I liked who never paid me the time of day unless I was giving them free sugar.

  12. Great story. I can totally see why you would have seen selling beer as a great business opportunity. I would have never have had the guts to do something like that so young. I’m glad you didn’t get caught.

  13. I never thought of it as that weird until I began relaying it to my husband and it sounded so absurd and funny b/c I wasn’t the type of kid that would do something like that. It just makes my inner-dork shine.

  14. I wasn’t either. I went to a couple parties, but I was a mute and extremely self-conscious, which equates to #loser. I made friends in college though. That made up for it. Even if we weren’t frat-cool, we thought we were cool and had FUN.

  15. LOL! I can’t believe you made your own suckers. That’s so cool. I’m surprised your brother didn’t get worse for the beer. I’m curious as to how often he sold it.

  16. I think I reflect an honest respect the resourcefulness of a young person and a fairly (obvious) attraction to those who are comfortable on the fringes of civilized society. damn! bootleg locker hootch! very good story ( you would have been home in the late 60′s lol)

  17. oh this is classic, katherine. My cuz did that in high school, and boy she was grounded for months…lol

    school days were fun :)

  18. Man… you just don’t see like the type to have ever sold beer out of your locker! I smoked in highschool. The kid next to me was more of the druggie type… suddenly when he knew I (who was considered a school girl) actualy smoked, he looked at me in a whole different light. Wow – you mean you actually broke rules? Yep – that was about as bad as I got! LOL

  19. Hi, Kate, I hope it’s ok with you that I just posted another FTSF link above. I’d originally written a more serious post and then decided “nah! I’d rather share a stupid story from my youth and draw a really bad picture,” which is what I did. Thanks!

  20. Kate! I thought I’d already left a laughing hysterically comment on this one. Either your disqus or my iPhone is up to no good! I’m going with my iPhone. It seems to be thwarting all my blog commenting – don’t know what’s its problem is! Anyway, just for the record, I now think you are uber cool. And you were already pretty freaking cool before I knew you as a bootlegger!!!.

  21. I had a serious one about smoking pot that I didn’t share, and now I can’t be arsed to finish it (one day). I think it’s great you put the two different ones in on different days:)

  22. You did leave a comment. I’m not sure why it didn’t show p here. Got it in my inbox though. This happens with a few people and Disqus. #weird and thanks for thinking I’m uber cool – nobody did in HS, but at least somebody does now. Ive arrived!

  23. I can relate. When I was in high school, I started selling porn.

    I had always bought extra lunch tickets in the morning. $1/ticket. Then when the lunch bell rang, kids who hadn’t thought ahead and needed a ticket last minute could buy from me, but I charged $1.50. I also found a way to get two sodas out of the soda machine when you had only paid for one. I would stand by the machine and tell the kids if they gave me 50 cents (sodas were $1), I would get them two sodas. So for a $1,50, they could get 2 and I made enough money after doing this twice to buy my own.

    One weekend a friend and I went into a house that had been abandoned for over a year. We found hundreds of porn magazines in one of the closets. We took them all and started selling them to junior high kids.

  24. Hmmm, I’d never have taken you for someone to have sold beer out of your locker! Just goes to show…it’s the good girls you need to keep your eye on. LOL. :-)

  25. Whoa! I thought I was bad! Hmm…I don’t really remember, either way, WHOA! And, this post is so appropriate for my week :-) I had some of those MC Hammer pants, you could have put a whole case of beer down there!

  26. Okay, I remember this one well (without even having to go to my comment that’s probably somewhere below, lol) This is where I think I recognized you had some potential … for the dark side! :) Loved it!

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