The last time I went on vacation I…don’t really want to write about because it was uneventful, other than my kids making way too much noise and destroying our extended family’s things – typical stuff.
So, I was going to tell you about the camping trip I took with my parents to Myrtle Beach when I was six. And how an hour into the eight hour drive we realized we forgot the dog and had to turn back and after my seven-month pregnant mom accidentally dropped the dog when putting her in the van (minimal damage) we took off for the beach again. When we unloaded, we found that we had packed two bags full of trash in the back of the van – which wasn’t so surprising since Hefty bags were often our luggage. Then we slept in the van because my dad pushed up on the bowed in canvas ceiling of the tent which was full of rain one time over the four straight days of a tropical depression (which combined nicely with the 90 degree days) that caused a steady drip to descend upon the tent floor, leaving a lake of water among all our trash-bagged belongings. Because of all that, plus my mom’s very rational fear that we’d be swept away with the ocean’s rising tide as we slumbered, we left early. But if I told you about this, you’d know we’re kind of rednecks.
So, then I thought of sharing about the time Steve planned a camping trip to Door County, Wisconsin for my birthday. But then 9/11 happened four days prior and it became the saddest trip we ever took because I kept breaking out in tears, even at a restaurant once over my bacon and over-easy eggs – not to mention that we brought the blind, diabetic, incontinent dog that required two shots per day with us, which wasn’t exactly my idea of a birthday present – neither was picking up his poop nor having his nails dig into my bare flesh while he rode on my lap for the five hour trip, and come to think of it, the neighbor yelling at me because Steve left the dog off the leash because he wandered into her “yard” was not my idea of an awesome birthday present either. But that trip makes me sound like an unappreciative butt-hole and my husband like kind of a bad planner/present giver because not only did he forget to make reservations for my birthday dinner, but he also forgot the air mattress pump and the colander for the spaghetti. The colander for the spaghetti! So, I won’t tell you about that.
Then I thought of telling you about our trip to Acadia National Park when we camped next to three alcoholic felons that peed on their campfire after they left it unattended for hours, reaching its peak at six feet high, and about how prior to knowing they were felons, Steve loudly shushed them the previous pre-dawn morning because they were talking at a level that was more appropriate for an overcrowded night club playing a Celine Dion techno remix. But I already briefly covered that trip here.
I could talk about when we went to Bora Bora for our honeymoon and stayed in one of those huts with a plexi-glass floor that stands on stilts over water and how we watched the fish swim by, but that sounds kind of braggy even though it was a once in a lifetime trip and I struggled with guilt for years over the money we shelled out because there are millions of starving people all over the world. So, I won’t tell you about that either.
Or I could tell you about the trip we took to Hawaii when Steve and I were dating and how my sister went with us. Steve and I worked together and we didn’t want anyone in our office to know we were dating (because we’re introverts and don’t like all that attention and crap), but the office was small and so people were going to put two and two together if we didn’t come up with some reason why we were both going. Steve was actually going for work, so I said “I’m going for Spring Break with my sister.”
Then my sister and I got into a big fight and she got it on film and don’t even think I’m going to show something like that because 1) I don’t have it, she does, and 2) although it was funny it makes me look like a big jerk because I pretty much was (and Melissa, don’t you dare put that thing on Youtube). On the fun side my sister and I covered every square inch of Oahu, from swimming with exotic fish, to eating fresh chocolate-covered pineapple on a stick at the pineapple plantation, learning to hula, seeing breeching whales, body surfing (this is where my bathing suit got ripped off that one time), and eating ungodly high-priced Portuguese sausage at the ocean-front McDonald’s. And besides the overpriced sausage, we did the whole trip on the cheap because Steve was being comped for work for his meals/stay and my sister got a major discount because she worked at the Radisson. But I won’t go into depth about that.
So, that leaves me with no trips to talk about. So, let’s talk about your trips. Tell me about one of your vacation memories in the comments…or link-up a vacation post below.
This post is part of Finish the Sentence Friday.