Top 15 (I mean 16) Tweets of January 2013

I enjoyed selecting my favorite tweets from 2012 so much that I’m doing it again for January – granted 66% of those tweets were mine. This time I’m only making 20% of them mine (that’s 3, for those of you that scored worse than my 850 on the SATs). 
So, here are some of my favorite tweets from January 2013. RT/star if you like them or start following these peeps. Give ‘em some tweet-love.

The first one is @WilliamRuh. He’s unique. Read his tweet to see the premise for every single one of his tweets. And he does this everyday. That’s too much work for me.

@katewhinehall Why not follow me? Always precisely 140 character sometimes clever complete thoughts in proper English with correct spelling.
— William Ruh (@WilliamRuh) January 1, 2013

This is me…

Parents after the first kid: Make sure you put on your bike helmet!Parents after the third kid: Be careful with that chainsaw, sweetie.
— Shkeeber (@shkeeber) January 4, 2013

I liked this quote. I thought it was encouraging. Just be who we are, stop trying to be what we’re not.

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life thinking it is stupid. #quotes
— Julie DeNeen (@jdeneen4) January 5, 2013

This reminded me of my colon post

Hate it when my hand bypasses the “don’t send that!” filter in my head and then I have to burn down all the cell towers.
— KayRants (@KayRants) January 6, 2013

Here’s me thinking my jokes are funny…and nobody else does – ok, one person liked it.
Like pink was the new black…neon is the new suck.
— AnotherBottleofWhine (@KateWhineHall) January 7, 2013

“Clever” tweets and funny blog…

Phrases I’ve actually uttered: “I’m not gonna give you a candy that’s bigger than the poop you made.”
— Something Clever 2.0 (@JennSmthngClvr) January 11, 2013

This was an RT of @sixthformpoet, but Funny One Lines regularly has great tweets.

Honesty is the best policy. Unless you want people to like you.RT @sixthformpoet
— Funny One Liners (@funnyoneliners) January 11, 2013

This one made me laugh out loud…(many of Jon’s do)…

Justin Timberlake is making music again. Destiny’s Child is back together. Ball is in your court Color Me Badd.
— Jon Acuff (@jonacuff) January 11, 2013

This cracked me up! My dad and step-mom will like this one. My step-mom is a yoga instructor.

Tonight I went to a yoga class with my best friend and she farted during namaste.That is all I need to make this the best week ever.
— Bonnie Larsen (@thelifeofbon) January 12, 2013

When I want to encourage myself I tweet things like this…

Just had a Coke and 6 pcs. of chocolate. That’s on the Paleo diet, right? Sorry. I mixed that up with the “Eat Like a Sow” Diet.
— AnotherBottleofWhine (@KateWhineHall) January 23, 2013

This was a popular trending hashtag last week. I suggested Holy_Honey as a Christian Mingle User Name, but then realized that was lame, but not until after I hit Tweet (it’s always after). I wished I had written “HotNHoly_Honey”. But that was probably lame too. This one below was one of my favorites.

#ChristianMingleUserNames GimmePSALMofThat
— C.H.A.M.P. (@SEOUL_Child116) January 23, 2013

This guy is funny. I love his tweets…

Each week, I hoard all of one type of office supply to see how my coworkers react to the shortage. This week, that item is toilet paper.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 24, 2013

This is my most retweeted tweet ever. And I sent it out today. Who knew something so simple could get so much attention? And who knew that six retweets could be considered so much attention?

Sign that you’re a mom: You have to write “take a shower” on your to do list.
— AnotherBottleofWhine (@KateWhineHall) January 30, 2013

This guy not only tweets a lot of funny things, but retweets a lot of funny things. I was laughing out loud at his Twitter feed.

Can I ground my kids for not doing anything that I can turn into a funny tweet?
— SweetandWeak (@sweetandweak) January 30, 2013

These two are from last year, so this is going against the January theme, but I just found and RT’d them tonight, thanks to @Sweetandweak.

For most people when you lose your “khakis” you’ve lost your pants. When you’re from Boston & lose your “khakis” you can’t start your car.
— Tony P. (@Steelers1972) December 11, 2012

The worst things on Earth are racism, genocide, and when couples sit on the same side of the booth.
— Jesse Weller (@JesseWeller) November 28, 2012

I’ll be on the look out for more funny tweets in February. Let me know in the comments which tweet was your favorite. You don’t have to say mine. Mine aren’t even my favorite.
Anyone have suggestions on who I should be following on Twitter? Leave their handle in the comments, yo! 

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