Man, it was hard to narrow this list down to 10. I got it down to 16 and had to call Steve in for help. Here’s what we came up with. And I added one of mine because…I’m selfish.
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I can never forget my awkward years, mostly because my grandmas insist on displaying all evidence of them in 8×10 frames.
— CatherineLMK (@CatherineLMK) March 25, 2013
Accidentally inhaled when I opened the diaper genie and several past lives flashed before me. I think I shot JFK.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) March 20, 2013
Shout-out to post-nasal drip: When you finally sit up and swallow it it’s kind of like having breakfast in bed.
— AnotherBottleofWhine (@KateWhineHall) March 29, 2013
This mole on my arm looks suspicious. Especially since it started wearing a hoodie.
— Jason Gelles (@1CarParade) March 13, 2013
Sometimes I miss the perks of being a 2 year old. No one gives me a high five when I poop in the potty.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 15, 2013
I’m so unorganized, I need Fanny Packs to be awesome again
— Jim (@jgantley) March 12, 2013
If you are missing treats in the office just make a commitment to go on a diet. Brownies and cookies will rain down from the ceiling.
— KC Procter (@ThatGuyKC) March 8, 2013
I just said “you can’t make me” to my toddler, proving I am also 5 years old
— Dave (@RealDMK) March 8, 2013
The new Oz movie better have Toto! And I’m talking about the band.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) March 8, 2013
They say your body is your temple, but I feel like my temple is this fort I made out of Oreos and Pringles?
— Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) March 7, 2013
Refilled my eco-friendly travel mug with Fair-Trade organic coffee from a family-owned plantation.So I’m ready to judge you all today.
— Iron_Dad (@I_Am_Iron_Dad) March 4, 2013
Did any of them make you laugh out loud? Tell me in the comments.
Update: Tweets no longer in a Twitter block mean the account has been deleted.