1. Mom knows when her kids are lying.
She asked if you took a cookie from the cookie jar. You said: No.
Mom knows the truth. She heard the clink of the cookie jar, you have a chocolate mustache and she counts the cookies anyway. You ate four.
2. Mom knows when her kids are getting into mischief.
Quiet equals trouble. In any given second apart from when you’re slumbering you’re louder than a herd of water buffaloes battling a lion pride battling crocodiles. If you’re quiet, you’re most likely sitting at the computer inadvertently dragging all the important files to the trash. Mom knows. She’ll come running.
3. Mom knows when her kids are hiding something.
Mom asks, “What do you have over there?” You say: Nothing.
Even before she turns the corner Mom knows you have her new Clinique long-last lipstick you were eyeing when you saw her buy it this morning. And she’s guessing you applied it, then wrote all over the walls with it. She’s right.
4. Mom knows when her kids have been doing one thing when they were supposed to be doing another.
You’re supposed to be doing homework or anything other than watching TV or playing video games while mom is gone. You’ve been watching TV even though it’s not on when she walks in the door. Mom knows it’s been on. (She’ll put her hand on the TV to feel if it’s warm. It’s hot. This is what my mom used to do.)
5. Mom can discern her kid’s cry from all other kids.
You’re at Chuck E. Cheese with 4,247 other kids. You’re running and accidentally slam into the Flamin’ Finger video game. You scream and cry. Mom has bionic ears. Mom comes running. Mom knows your cry.
6. Mom knows the difference in her kid’s cries.
Mom knows a cry indicating you just gashed your head on Flamin’ Finger, requiring a trip to the ER, or at least a large Band-Aid versus the other cries that mean “I want that toy,” “I’m not getting my way,” “I’m tired,” “I lost,” or the “I only have a minor boo-boo, but I’m going to cry and cry so I can get that Muppets Band-Aid even though there’s no blood.”
7. Moms know when her kids are stalling.
You never request a potty-break (you’re still in Pull-ups), drink of water, or to have a chat until you’re tucked in bed. Mom knows your ways.
8. Mom knows when “I’m hungry” doesn’t mean I’m hungry.
Mom knows when you say, “I’m hungry” 20 minutes after you just ate that what you’re really saying is, “I’m bored.” And it’s usually accompanied by things like, “I’m tired.” “I’m dizzy.” “I wanna play a game with you.” “Can I take all my clothes off?” or “You spend too much time on the iPad.”
9. Mom knows when something is wrong with her kids.
Mom may live hundreds of miles away from her adult child, but she can tell when something is wrong. She’ll ask 46 questions and you’ll still claim that everything is fine, but she’ll know it’s really not fine (at least this is what my mom does with me).
10. What other superpower can you think of that Moms have? Share it in the comments.