Here are the top 10 funniest tweets for the month of April from people I follow. Some of these may be from before April, but I didn’t find them until April. I also included one of my own because I strive to be as funny and cool as these people and I want to be on a list with them somewhere.
I could be carrying a kid, 4 bags of crap, the keys, the phone, the dog& my kids would complain abt holding a piece of paper!
— heyMomma (@heyMommaX2) April 3, 2013
Protip: When it’s your turn to say grace at the in-laws’ house, it’s considered bad form to thank God for your wife’s lovely boobs. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 11, 2013
100% of my 5 favorite movies start with the words “Air Bud.”
— Jamie Woodham (@jwoodham) April 21, 2013
I’m eating a vegan lunch today. Sure, it’s six sleeves of Smarties and a Diet Coke, but I’m still better than you. — AnotherBottleofWhine (@KateWhineHall) April 18, 2013
When my wife’s having a bad day, I program the weight scale 5 pounds lower so it’ll cheer her up. When she’s condescending, it goes up 40.
— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) April 16, 2013
The true “walk of shame” is back to the break room to grab a third free donut while no one is watching. — Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) April 17, 2013
I accidentally kicked my cat off of the bed while adjusting my blankets. Now he’s in the corner sadly humming a Sarah McLachlan song.
— Sasshole (@RidiculousSheri) March 8, 2013
Nothing says love like your daughter looking you in the eye, smiling, then noisily filling her diaper.
— Ready, Set, Father! (@ReadySetFather) March 9, 2013
The “With Arms Wide Open” music video, but with me standing in front of a Krispy Kreme.
— J-Smooth (@shadygeekdad) April 11, 2013
*drops girl off after dinner/movie date**farts non stop for 3 hours*
— Tim(@TimmmSmith) April 2, 2013
To see the funniest tweets from last month, check them out here.
Update: Tweets no longer in a Twitter block may mean the account has been deleted.