Here are the top 10 funniest tweets for the month of July.
How I choose: I pick about 40 of my favorites that I’ve retweeted, give them to Steve (my husband), he narrows it down by at least half and I pick the 10 funniest from those. Now that I’m following more people I only choose tweets tweeted during the month of July from people I follow and only one tweet chosen per person. I also include one of my own, so I can say that I’ve been on a list someplace with awesomely hilarious people.
If you’re on Twitter, show them you like their tweet by clicking on their retweet or star button, or by following them.
Made spicy chili yesterday and shared with the dog. Our sleep farts sounded like wooly mammoth mating calls. Related: I may need new drapes
— Herbie Thinks (@HerbieThinks) July 5, 2013
Everything I know about Hare Krishna I learned from Airplane.
— aGirlNamedNikki (@MakeItaDooblay) July 8, 2013
Just heard “This shall pass” in the stall next to me and now I’m scared to leave. — E. Panda X (@EvilPandaX) July 8, 2013
I’ve spent 25 minutes attempting to download software so my wife can print a $1 coupon for sunscreen in case anyone wonders what rage is
— Peter Stark (@StarksWeek) July 13, 2013
The good thing about being behind the times is I pay lower prices for electronics and see movies for cheap. The bad thing is I’m a loser. — AnotherBottleofWhine (@KateWhineHall) July 15, 2013
If you fart while standing in line at a waffle house they’ll give you a free orange juice.
— mrONEderful (@ericONEderful) July 20, 2013
Hey! I just made a cup of tea in your adorable little kettle! What? What’s a neti pot?
— Hazel Motes (@hazelmotes1) July 22, 2013
I gave birth to a “royal baby” today too. Took 2 flushes to get rid of.
— Don Swan (@TheSwanDon) July 23, 2013
Two young lovers staring madly into each others eyes, ready for their souls to unite. Except its me and this enchilada plate.
— Dr. Hooey Spitooey (@BigBagOfScum) July 23, 2013
The older and fatter I get the more open I become to the notion of having a bidet.
— The Rusty Beard (@Darylch) July 26, 2013
The only difference between me eating at McDonalds or me eating at the Olive Garden is the angle I lean when I’m releasing a fart.
— Blank. (@sarcasm_inc) July 26, 2013
These people are so funny! All of these made me laugh out loud. How about you? Tell me in the comments.