Here are the top 10 funniest tweets for the month of August.
How I choose: I pick about 50 of my favorites that I’ve retweeted, give them to Steve (my husband), he narrows it down by at least half and I pick the 10 funniest from those. Now that I’m following more people I only chose tweets tweeted during the month of August from people I follow and only one tweet chosen per person. I also include one of my own, so I can say that I’ve been on a list someplace with totally hilarious people.
If you’re on Twitter, show them you like their tweet by clicking on their retweet or star button, or by following them.
In order to save time, I just toss the bananas into the trash can as I leave the grocery store.
— Jay (@pizzajaynow) August 4, 2013
If four PT Cruisers all stopped at the same 4-way intersection at the same time, which one do you make fun of first? — Awesome Todd (@Awesome_Todd) August 6, 2013
There is nothing that is more equal parts disturbing and comforting than a warm toilet seat. — Call me Al (@alrulz2009) August 8, 2013
“Remember that man you met for 5 seconds when you were 2 months old? Let me catch you up on his medical history” -my relatives
— CatherineLMK (@CatherineLMK) August 8, 2013
I confused a BLT sandwich with an LGBT sandwich and now I’m in a hot tub with The Village People.
— Ramblin’ Man (@jamiedipoma) August 10, 2013
I just heard my wife fart on the other side of the house, in case you wondered what marriage is like. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 19, 2013
Some of my morning trips to the bathroom could use a doula to coach me through them
— Zack (@Mr_Kapowski) August 21, 2013
My minivan smells like dirty kids, rotten cheese and mom fail. — Jen Good (@buriedwithkids) August 22, 2013
I don’t always eat chocolate bars, but when I do, I eat six.
— AnotherBottleofWhine (@KateWhineHall) August 23, 2013
The people who eat those 3 day old Big Bites from 7-11, those are the real heroes. — Burro Hunter (@215potter) August 23, 2013
Menstrual periods? More like menstrual exclamation points. Am I right? *gets slapped by every woman on Twitter
— mrONEderful (@ericONEderful) August 24, 2013