The most unexpected part of being a grownup is…all the responsibility and crap. Did we really know we were signing up for just this much? I didn’t.
1. I didn’t expect that I would need to tell my kids more than once to do something. I didn’t realize it would involve whining, screaming, crying, and other tantrumy things. And that’s just me. Apparently, it takes like 250 or 250,000 times of you saying it for them to make it a habit.
2. I didn’t expect that I’d be so frequently violated by a child’s hand. Whether it’s being woken by a fist in my butt crack, or a random squeeze and twist to the buttocks in the kitchen, I didn’t know it would be this frequent and bring my children so much joy. It’s funny that this surprises me considering that when I was a kid walking up the stairs behind my mom, I would gently bounce my fists off her butt in a milking motion and say I was “milking her cow.” Actually, I still do that.
3. I didn’t expect that I’d be so sore the day after such rigorous activities as playing darts. The bicep on my dart-throwing arm has to be iced the following day. No joke.
4. I didn’t expect that I’d be woken five out of seven nights a week by my three children for reasons ranging from being scared, to needing cream on an itch, to wanting a drink, to needing help getting Hello Kitty’s enormous head through the hole in another doll’s stupid pink dress.
5. I didn’t expect that I would have so little time for myself. I didn’t know how much work three kids would be and how parenting is a 24 hours a day gig and sleep doesn’t always happen. When I was single and alone, I didn’t realize that I would crave time alone like a junkie craves her next fix.
6. I didn’t expect that I’d be listening to my sweet jams on MP3s. I could have saved a lot of money not buying that entire collection of Time-Life Singers & Songwriters “never seen together like this until now” CDs. For real. I did that.
7. I didn’t expect that I’d enjoy gardening. After all the those weekends whining about working in my grandma’s yard or mowing our lawn, even going as far as mowing a giant F-word in it, I’m surprised by how much I enjoy gardening, yard work and all things dirt.
8. I didn’t expect that peer pressure would turn into judgment would turn into peer pressure. I thought peer pressure was done when I left high school. It’s a bit easier to not give into it now, but it’s still there rearing its ugly head in the form of Mommy Wars and keeping up with the Joneses.
9. I didn’t expect that there would be this thing called the Internet and I’d be so excited about writing and reading jokes in 140 characters or less. I also didn’t anticipate having friends I chat with on a regular basis across the world while at the same time not even knowing my neighbors’ names.
10. I didn’t expect that I’d despise talking on the phone so much. Considering the number of hours I spent on the phone as a teenager, with the cord extended into the closed-door bathroom, I never guessed I’d find myself hearing my phone ring, then staring at it, willing the ringing to stop…until it does. By the way, I do that to everybody, except you. Mmkay.
There are a lot of things I didn’t expect to experience when I grew up, but I’m pretty happy with the way things have turned out so far. What do you think is the most unexpected part of being a grownup?
This post is part of Finish the Sentence Friday. Thank you to our guest host this week, Sarah of Left Brain Buddha, for coming up with our sentence.
Next week’s sentence is: What I really want to scream out loud is… (Tarana of Sand in My Toes)
Mommy, for Real (on blog vacation this week), Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic, Finding Ninee, and Me